2.9.2013

The Gift of Setting Yourself Free

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Lewis B. Smedes
Negative emotions consume you. They keep you from experiencing the good you desire, the good that is rightfully yours. Stored up negative emotions of anger, regret, resentment, and sorrow can keep you stuck in the past; dwelling on the past can adversely affect your health, and your life. Unless you let it go.
Choose to forgive.
Your mind is wandering now. You’re thinking, “Why should I forgive her? She said some pretty cruel things about me and I did nothing wrong.”
Drifting through the past, you say to yourself, “He cheated on me. Why should I forgive him?”
Bad memories of your childhood surface as you argue, “My father abandoned me! He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.”
And I say to you, “It’s not about them. It’s about you.”
When you consciously choose the act of forgiveness, you release yourself from the burden of the past; from the grip those circumstances have on you. By releasing yourself from anger, pain, and resentment, you free your energy allowing you to be present in the here and now. And, that’s where your happiness is – in the here and now. When you forgive you give yourself the gift of happiness, and the gift of freedom.
But wait. “I’m the victim here,” you say convincingly.
And I say to you, “Only if you choose to be.”
Your anger and resentment towards others is hurting YOU more than it is hurting them. They can’t feel your pain or anger. If you have been playing the role of victim, you have only tainted your life, not theirs. They have moved on. You can move on too. You can break the cycle by choosing forgiveness.
The truth is … I know this because I’m not perfect. I’ve been guilty of holding on to old resentments, habits and circumstances. I was stuck in negative emotions. I was, in fact, my own obstacle to living the life I wanted to live. Once I realized this and finally let it go, I found myself in a much more peaceful place.
You may think it’s your significant other, your mother-in-law, your friend, your sister or your father who created the condition you’re stuck in. But admit it. You have more power than you realize. Reclaim your power, don’t give it all away to someone else.
And let’s get one thing clear here. When you choose forgiveness, it doesn’t have to mean you forget. It doesn’t mean that you are in agreement with the past. It simply means that you release the burden and move on. It’s not about denying a person’s unacceptable actions; it’s not about condoning hurtful behavior. Forgiveness does not mean that you need to resume a relationship with the person who brought you pain, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you should return to (or stay in) a harmful or abusive relationship. Forgiveness is about taking your lessons with you, as you move on with your life. It’s about releasing yourself and others from emotional debts and obligations.
You can continue to hold on to the past. You can grasp tightly to the pain and resentment. You can choose to be angry and miserable. Nobody’s stopping you.
And I say to you, “It’s just not worth it. Let it go. Put yourself back in the driver’s seat.”
When you choose to forgive, you are choosing to live in a peaceful state of mind. You are ridding yourself of old destructive thought patterns. Forgiveness is recognizing that everyone is doing their best given the combination of childhood nurturing, conditions, and interpretations of their life experiences.
The true miracle of forgiveness takes place on the inside, with an inner shift. But the results of this inner shift will be seen in incredible ways through external situations once you choose forgiveness. It is a choice that frees you to live your life fully…in joy and in peace.
THE BURDEN: A Short Story of Forgiveness
Two monks were returning to the monastery in the evening. It had rained and there were puddles of water on the roadsides. At one place a beautiful young woman was standing unable to walk across because of a puddle of water. The elder of the two monks went up to her, lifted her and left her on the other side of the road, and continued his way to the monastery.
In the evening check here the younger monk came to the elder monk and said, “Sir, as monks, we cannot touch a woman.”
The elder monk answered, “Yes, brother.”
Then the younger monk asks, “But then Sir, why is it that you lifted that woman on the roadside?”
The elder monk smiled at him and told him, “I left her on the other side of the road, but you are still carrying her.”
Ask yourself — What burden are you still carrying? Is it getting too heavy to bear?
In the study of Metaphysics, I have learned an empowering lesson. LIFE IS ALWAYS FOR US, NEVER AGAINST US. It is important to look for the blessing in all circumstances. Look at what the situation is calling forth from us, and then finally, release and let go. Forgive.
What memories of the past still cause you to feel pain, resentment, anger, or sadness?
What negative thoughts and emotions are you tightly hanging on to?
Who are you unwilling to forgive?
Are you angry at someone else, or perhaps angry with yourself?
Change your mind. Choose to Forgive.
Here are some helpful steps in releasing and letting go of the past.
Acknowledge your experience by being true to your feelings and recognizing your hurt, pain, anger, resentment and any fears or doubts from your experience. To do this, take a look back at your life and remember three people you haven’t been able to forgive. One of these three people could very well be yourself (it was for me). Grab your journal or a spiral notebook, and list these three people, recalling the circumstance or event, and write about your feelings, judgments, hurt, anger, pain and resentment.
Now pinpoint any part you may have had in this situation, showing yourself compassion in the process, and recognizing insights. Your part in the situation could have been something as simple as holding on to the anger and resentment for too long. If this is the case, ask yourself to let go of the anger now. It no longer serves you. Remember, you are setting yourself free in the process of forgiveness, by choosing love over fear.
Choose one of the people on your list of three, and write a letter to him/her. This letter is not to be sent, but to help you in healing through forgiveness. Here’s an outline to get you started:
1. Describe the event, how it caused you pain, and how it is still affecting you. I used phrases such as, “It hurt me when …,” or “I feel angry that you …,” or “I’m still feeling …”
2. Identify the part you played and any insights you have regarding the situation. Such as, “I am sorry that I …,” or “I realize my part of …,” or “I have learned that …”
3. Write about what you would like to have experienced. “I would have liked for …,” or “I deserved to …,” or “What I really wanted was …”
4. Let it go by writing about your release of this pain as if you are erasing it from your mind. “I forgive you for …,” or “I know that …,” or “I understand that …”
5. Show gratitude by recognizing how this experience has contributed to your life, or what you have learned. “I appreciate that …,” or “What you taught me was …,” or “I gained ____ from this experience.”
6. To end your letter and complete the process of releasing and letting go, use phrases such as, “With love,” or “Sending you many blessings.” Sign your name.
When click this website writing this letter, allow yourself to write freely. It’s for your eyes only. No need to worry about grammar and punctuation. Just write. Let the words flow. And, remember, you are not condoning this person’s behavior or actions. You are freeing yourself from painful negative emotions that keep you stuck in the turmoil of the past. You are choosing to tell yourself a new story through the process of forgiveness. This is for you, not them.
Finally, in this process of forgiveness, your thoughts play a huge role because your thoughts create your feelings. The power lies in changing your thoughts to create positive feelings because this shifts your energy. Once your energy is shifted, every person around you will notice the ‘new’ wwe supercard hack jailbreak you. Once you release the heavy burden you were carrying, you will understand and experience the gift of setting yourself free through the process of forgiveness.